F*ck him is the first thing I thought when I woke up to the unfamiliar feeling of being alone in my bed. Through an underlying sense of loss and immobilizing sadness, I felt a motivating sense of survival. I had a plan in mind to muffle my tears and fuel my anger. The day after the split I concentrated on one thing - get rid of any evidence of his existence. Unfortunately, my plan relied on his ability to remove his personal items - not an easy thing for him to do when he hadn't found a permanent residence yet. Once I accepted the fact that his trophies, shirts, and favorite snacks would be a semi-permanent part of my apartment
It was early on a Thursday morning when the words, "I think we should break up" were spoken. My palms started to sweat and I could hear my heart pound with each eternal second that passed. There it was, the familiar pit in my stomach of my heart breaking. After 5 years of relationship and 2 years living together, our time as a couple ended in a matter of minutes. During the following four weeks I went through a roller coaster of emotions. The whirlwind of losing a partner is not an easy thing to go through, even if it is for the better. For the first few weeks, every moment was a fight to feel normal. So what did I do?
This past Tuesday I came home from work feeling defeated. I searched for distraction. I took a warm shower and let the water soothe me. I put on a sparkly headband and brushed my hair in hopes that feeling a little more put together would snap me out of it. I looked at the dishwasher, it was full. I’ve never put away dishes so carefully. I needed to be in control of something. I could feel myself choking up, cue the water works. Halfway through my meticulous kitchen organization, I sat down on the couch, curled up in a ball and let the tears flood my eyes. Luckily, my boyfriend called me a couple seconds into my meltdown telling me he needed
I know we're all thinking it, where in the world did this past year go?! Looking back at 2015, I feel really good about the things I accomplished and I'm hopeful that 2016 will top it! I created Life in Spandex about a year and a half ago when I quit my full-time marketing job to become a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor. However, it wasn't until July 2015 that I decided to really go for this whole blogging thing. I started posting more regularly, worked on outreach and networking, gave the website a whole new look and feel, updated my imagery with professional photo and video shoots, got branded, started a YouTube channel, got on the Pinterest train,