Avoiding the “Girlfriend 15” – So You’re Dating

I consider myself to be a strong, independent woman. However, there’s a very simple way to turn me into a sixteen year old girl in a matter of seconds – a text from a new beau. During the first few months of dating my now boyfriend, my heart rate would speed up every time my phone lit up with a text message. Is it him?! (I have to admit, I tend to get just as giddy seven months into dating whenever I get a text from him.)

The first couple months of dating someone is a roller coaster of excitement and utter fear. No one wants to get hurt and everyone wants to be loved. When you’re trying to connect and impress with someone new, it’s easy to get swept off your feet and completely out of your routine. Keeping your healthy habits at the begining of the relationship is very important. It lays the groundwork to continue them as your relationship progresses. Have you continually dropped everything you planned on doing after work (like your workout) to go on a last-minute date with a new love interest? Or sabotaged your weight loss efforts for post-dinner drinks or milkshakes? Remember, there’s nothing wrong with this on occasion. But, if this becomes a habit during your entire courtship, there will be a day where you ask yourself, “how did this happen? I used to feel so good in my skin.”

These are five things during the “So You’re Dating Phase” that will help you stay true to yourself and your fitness goals.

1. Find out if he lives a healthy lifestyle.

One of the easiest ways to keep your health on track during a new relationship is to find someone like-minded! If you’ve been hitting the gym four times a week or love running on the weekends, wouldn’t you prefer someone who you could also share these hobbies with? He doesn’t have to have the exact same goals as you, but sharing a common awareness to self-care can make staying on track that much easier and more fun. Dating someone who you can meal prep with is the best-case scenario.

Avoiding the Girlfriend 15 - Dating

 

2. Be Authentic.

If he’s not as into green juice and squat racks as you are, don’t let this discourage you from being honest about your love of healthy living! A lot of people feel the natural pressure to impress during the first month of dating. We want the other person to think we’re amazing. I can’t name one friend who didn’t do an extensive social media research project of their new love interest after the first couple of dates (or even before!). Finding out who his ex-girlfriends are is part of it, but the other half of our research is to find out if we have enough in common.

Ladies, PLEASE, do not try and match your interests to him! Yes, there will be guys who open your eyes to new passions. But, this is not something to be forced. Pretending like you’d rather watch football than go on a Sunday afternoon hike will only last so long until the truth boils over. If he prefers to sit on the couch and you want to get your heart rate up, plan on hanging out after the game or make a compromise that you’ll watch the second half of the game with him after you’ve gotten your exercise in. I don’t know any guy who would write off a girl because she had the cojones to do what makes her happy.

3. Take time for yourself.

As women, we are told from a very young age that finding a partner is an important part of life. When we’re single we can sometimes get so caught up in the idea of finding a boyfriend that we don’t even realize how happy we are when we’re single! Think about it. How many times have you had an amazing night out with some girlfriends but the next morning are filled with a false sense of loneliness simply because there’s no man to call “baby?” You were just surrounded by a group of women who all love you and yet you still think you’re “alone.” Having someone to share your life with is amazing, but it’s not the end all be all.

Staying Healthy Through Heartbreak week 1

While you’re still in the beginning of a potential relationship, make sure you’re continuing to do the things that made you happy before prince charming candidate number ____ came riding in. And, yes, this most definitely includes the healthy habits that make you feel good, like cooking a healthy dinner with your roomie(s), taking a hot bath at the end of the day, going on hikes with your friends, and indulging in a Sunday evening face mask.

4. Plan active dates.

Who said your hot date and workout couldn’t be one in the same? Propose some active date ideas that you love to do – biking, hiking, a strength training class, kayaking, skiing or snowboarding, ice skating, running, or even a dance class (you’d be surprised what a man will do to win your affection 😉 lol). This will be a quick way to see if you share similar interests too!

Avoiding the Girlfriend 15 - Dating

Avoiding the Girlfriend 15 - Dating

5. Set boundaries.

Are you dating a man who tries to make you feel bad about eating healthy foods? Does he make comments about how often you workout? Does he talk negatively about your fitness goals or aesthetic? Before chemistry can blind you, make sure he knows what’s important to you. If he is already annoyed by your healthy habits now, what does that mean for your future? If he doesn’t support your goals, is he really a good match? You want a man who is confident enough in himself that your healthy routines don’t intimidate him. A boy may see your early bedtime and morning workouts as “selfish.” A man will empower you to continue doing what makes you happy.

4 Week Beginner's Running Guide

Give this post a Share, a Like, or a Comment! And tell me in the comment box below, have you ever started a new relationship and found that your healthy routines got derailed? How have you made healthy choices while dating someone new?

Learn how to balance your love life with your fitness goals!

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Enjoy this article? Read the other Avoiding the “Girlfriend 15” posts!

Avoiding the “Girlfriend 15” – So You’re Committed

Avoiding the “Girlfriend 15” – So You’re Comfortable

Health and happiness,
Emily

Hi and welcome to Life in Spandex! I'm Emily, a personal trainer who believes there should be no secrets standing in your way to getting fit. I am sharing my knowledge here on this blog in order to help you reach your goals. Fitness should be fun, eating healthy should taste good, and feeling your absolute best is the ultimate goal. Let's get fit together!
9 comments
  1. […] Avoiding the “Girlfriend 15” – So You’re Dating […]

  2. I love this! It’s so important that you have similar lifestyle. Even if it’s early one day you may be living together and building a family one day and is he going to want to feed your tiny humans ice cream and pizza every day or will he support the cauliflower pizza crust option. Really loving this series Emily.

    1. Haha yes love the pizza example! Thanks girl 🙂

  3. I work out every single day – bright and early. I don’t think my husband has ever woken up and I am sleeping next to him, which makes him sad, but honestly… He is just going to have to GET OVER IT! lol

    1. You gonna see Spider-Man: Homecoming?

  4. Great advice. So many women lose themselves in a new relationship too quickly. It’s necessary to find out if the new man in question has goals. Also if you have enough in common.

    1. Absolutely!!! I’m glad you agree 🙂

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